Going with Gubs

Leaving comfort behind to face the fear of the unknown.

Stepping onto a plane bound for New Zealand, I wasn’t just crossing an ocean-I was crossing a threshold between comfort and the unknown. Every day leading up to my move, a familiar tingle of fear would sneak up on me. Sometimes it left me frozen in place; other times, it flashed through my chest like a jolt of electricity. The difference between excitement and fear is subtle and it all comes down to how we interpret the flood of chemicals in our brain and body.

I find it fascinating that these two emotions are biological twins, separated only by our mindset.

Will the van work out? Is it worth what I paid? Will I enjoy my time here? Will I actually do the things I’m dreaming of? Is all the planning and preparation going to be worth it? Will the financial investment pay off? These are all thoughts that constantly flood my mind as the days inch towards my flight date.

The easy path would have been to stay put, safe and comfortable. But growth doesn’t happen in comfort zones-and I refuse to miss out on my own life.

But not that I’m on the plane, leaving my dear friend in Hawaii, and munching on… interesting tasking airplane food, the fear takes a back seat. I decide that all I feel is pure excitement. I know that younger me would be thrilled at the choices I’m making and that helps me feel content. The journey to the North Island is long and arduous, but when I finally lay eyes on my new van, Strider, I know it was all worth it.

Strider is small for a van. He’s just long enough that I can fully lay out with the front seat tilted forward. I really love and appreciate his tiled kitchen in the back but MY MY MY the grey water tank SMELLS. Luckily, it’s nothing a little white vinegar doesn’t fix.

Driving on the left wasn’t the challenge I feared it would be. Sure, there are speed bumps everywhere, but the lack of traffic lights and the efficiency of the traffic systems more than make up for it. Sometimes, I can drive for hours without seeing a single traffic light-it’s a beautiful thing.

I can’t understand why more countries don’t adopt this. Traffic lights require so many resources and so much energy; it’s unfathomable to me that we don’t choose the most efficient systems everywhere. I wonder how we can implement infrastructural changes when people don’t even know there’s a better way.

I don’t have any plans today other than to drive. So off I go, heading south. Eventually, I stop to fill my cooler with ice, stock up on groceries, and fill my water jugs. While stopped, I enjoy my first kiwi meat pie and try to make a plan for where I am going.

I can’t use the iOverlander app, as it’s not as prevalent here like it is in the states, but I’ve planned for this.

I have 2 apps to use to search for campsites while I’m here (Campermate and Wikicamps) and I have several pinned locations in Google Maps to see along the way (definitely more than I’ll ever manage to visit).

And look at that- the Weathertop filming location is only an hour and a half away. That’s nothing for me! Off I go.

White fronds wave in the wind everywhere. The land is full of exotic trees I’ve only seen in Hawaii. Fronds and ferns wave everywhere I look. Between this beautiful vegetation, endless farms roll over the hills, and the earthy scent of manure that takes me straight back to childhood days on the farm. I feel like I’m in Ireland again. But then I pass a tree with the most brilliant, vibrant flowers-surely this is more like Hawaii? It’s somewhere between the two.

To me, it’s heaven.

The farms never end on the North Island, but eventually I hit the coast, and my word, I feel as though I’m in paradise. The roads get narrower and start winding around sharp curves. I’ve been warned about the roads here, and the unmarked speedbumps, but even when I hit gravel in the mountains of the coast, it’s manageable.

Finally-FINALLY-I reach Weathertop. Truly, I must be dreaming. The cliffs across from me feel as familiar as my own reflection.

I’ve been watching Lord of the Rings (hereby called LOTR) since I was five, maybe even younger. Laughing with my sisters and dad at my mom as she sobbed (spoilers!) over Gandalf’s fall in Moria is a core memory.

And now I am here, looking at the cove where Samwise stamped out the other Hobbit’s fire, where Frodo took his near-fatal stabbing from the King of the Nazgûl. All with Strider at my side.

No, literally at my side. The van came with a cut out of his handsome face. It’s nice to have him along for the ride, watching my back.

It feels as though I am among old friends. After all the fear and excitement over coming here, it’s such a relief. I finish taking it all in, flowing with my flowstar for a bit (I want to make a video montage of me flowing in all the filming locations), and continue down the road. There’s a small city ahead called Raglan that I’m aiming for.

It’s so hard not to stop every two seconds-picnic tables line the shore and the views are endless. Just driving here is a joy. I do stop, however, when I spot a small café nestled in the mountains, Nikau Cafe. They offer two things; caving and coffee.

If I hadn’t just gotten off a plane and driven the hour and a half, I would have done the caving to see bioluminescent glow worms. It’s okay though, I know there are more glow worms ahead.

For now, I’m happy to buy a latte and some ground beans for my journey onwards. All of that initial fear totally behind me, I head off to a freedom camping spot and settle in for the night.

More soon –

XOXO

Gubs

Have you ever felt fear and excitement blend together on your travels?

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